What My Mentors Stole
Two people I considered mentors, who are established, highly decorated photographers recently wrote this in their newsletter: “A few years ago we wrote this article about people not wanting to have their photograph taken. We decided to reprint it this month as we keep hearing from people making excuses about why they don’t want their photo taken.” What follows that introduction is a copy/paste of almost my entire blog post So You’re Feeling Too Fat to Be Photographed. The trouble is, dear mentors, you didn’t write it. You stole it. You stripped all identifying information out of the essay and plagiarized it for your own gain.
Since my blog post went viral in 2013 (and mini-viral each time Huffington Post shares it again) I have had many, many photographers copy the text and claim it as their own. But you? I shook your hands only two short months ago when you were acclaimed guest speakers at the small, exclusive photography conference I attended in Tampa, Florida. You were brought in as mentor photographers, with stacks of well-earned Professional Photographers of America (PPA) medallions hanging from your necks. When we talked before breakfast I absorbed your every word, and fought the urge to take notes and instead just ‘be cool’ as you talked about our industry. You told me all about how you had built your businesses separately, and then together as photography partners. Being so tall myself, we had some great laughs about your signature catch phrase “head and shoulders above the rest.” My admiration for your talent, accomplishments, and business savvy held my face in a perma-grin as you spoke to our group. The lessons you shared on networking, marketing, and knowing your value were a large part of the reason I came home from that conference feeling a little taller, a little more “head and shoulders above the rest” myself.
When I happened across your most recent email campaign, the one a mutual friend had posted to her Facebook page, I eagerly opened the newsletter, excited to hear the latest news from your studio. When I read it I sucked all the air out of the room and grabbed my chest while my husband, startled said “What? Teresa! What? What is wrong”?! I was, and still am, a little in shock. You were claiming to have written my words, and using it as a call to action to get people to book a session with you.
Part of me just wants to pretend it never happened and assume that you somehow didn’t know better, or that some intern did it (because the intern or “web guy” always gets blamed). But then there it is, in plain text, “we wrote this…”. No photographer makes it as far as you two have in your careers and doesn’t know what copyright and plagiarism are. You’d never dream of taking another photographer’s photographs and claiming them as your own, would you? So why my words?
Is it because, I said it better than you could?
Of course it is.
Because I lived it.
I lived the fear of nearly losing my life, and realizing that I was going to be absent from every record of my existing because of how my fat made me scared to be photographed. I wrote those words because I came to the brink of death, with my car wrapped around a tree, and realized that someone else wouldn’t be so lucky. Someone’s mom was going to lose their son or daughter, like mine almost did, and have no photographs of their child’s life because they were once embarrassed about a fat roll. Someone’s husband would one day lose their spouse, like mine almost did, and seek comfort in a photograph. A photograph that wouldn’t exist because their spouse let her fat be bigger than her joy. That one day a photograph would be the only form of comfort a family member had . . . and that our insecurities in the present day would take that comfort away from everyone who would one day cry at their absence.
I didn’t end my blog post with a “so call me today to book your session” because that is shady, and corrupt, and not at all what this blog was about. This blog was about the pain some of us feel when the camera comes out that makes you want to run and hide. It was about being photographed by anyone on any type of camera, not just mine in a professional session. It was about being OK with looking how you look and recognizing the people that love you, love you just as you are.
You cheapened my words.
You cheapened my words, stripped them of all of the raw emotion and truth, and used them as a marketing campaign to make your photography business more money. You’re not the first to do it, you’re just the first people I’ve met face to face, admired, and considered mentors who have stolen from me in such a personal way. It is so hard to reconcile. How could you be both the talented photographers I admire, and surgically editing my blog post for your gain at the same time?
We have all lost a mentor.
We have all lost a mentor somewhere along the way. Someone you had great admiration for, whom you held in high esteem, who really let you down. A boss or coworker who took your idea and claimed it was their own. A leader who misrepresented their skills, based on taking advantage of your talent. I even had a spiritual mentor once, whose friendship I ended when she started insisting God “told her” I needed to buy in to her multi-level marketing scheme. It is deeply unsettling to have a mentor abandon the principles you saw in them as sacred. You question everything they have taught you and then you question yourself for trusting them.
When a mentor steals from you, whether it is an idea, or money, or credit, it feels like being the kid on the playground whose bike has just been stolen. You’re watching it circle the block under someone else’s ass, thinking . . . but that’s not your “new bike,” that is MY bike.
Photography mentors, you’re riding my bike. You stole it from me. I thought we were friends. You took my most heartfelt words, the ones I cried as I wrote and took them as your own. The thing is, I can take the lessons you taught me, stand head and shoulders above the rest, and know my value. I’m standing up for myself. I’m not letting you win this one and I’m taking my bike back.
This isn’t just my story. This is a lot of people’s story . Feel free to comment and share; I’d love to hear from you (and it might help me feel a little better).
I’m so sorry you had this experience with people you respected. Keep pushing – your voice is too strong to be silenced by the actions of others.
You already stand taller than them. Your life and the way you live it makes you a grander person. They will never be on your level. Stand tall, take a breathe and know that not everyone who smiles or calls you friend is just that. There are snakes everywhere. Keep smiling and being the fabulous person you are. Praying for u to get through this.
Oh my :'( this broke my heart 💔
You are such a warm, sweet, kind soul and the Momma in me wants to jump up and go kick some butt! I do believe in karma and one day it will catch up with THEM. Sending you ((HUGS)) sweet Lady T ♡♡♡♡♡ Keep on being the fabulous YOU that you are ;)
So sorry this happened to you but I am glad you are taking this stand and calling out the guilty.
Hell naw! You slick down right dirty ,, pieces of shit,, I hope everyone is able to see this,if you steal someone’s words, I know dam well you will just help yourself to whatever you see fit! Absolutely disgusting doing this to Theresa!!😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😮😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
You are YOU!! NEVER FORGET THAT NO MATTER WHAT!!!!
Oh my god! Teresa that is your bike!!!! You are an amazing, creative and well worded woman! I’m shocked and I will share this because I can’t believe what I just read!!!! So sorry honey!
Plagirism is a sign of a total lack of self-confidence and also being a big fat loooooooser. It sounds like these people who want to “be cool” so badly are just imposters. Good on you for speaking out against this bs.
They will never be the eloquent writer you are. Shame on them.
Those people stealing your blog already shows that you are head and shoulders above them. I hate that people can be so disappointing and I hate that they did you so wrong but baby don’t you worry because this will all be turned around for your good. You are such an inspiration to so many people who knows what the future holds for you but I do know one thing it will be great !!
I am so sorry…some people are just jerks. The blog you speak of is why I “Liked” your page; I’m the queen of excuses for hiding behind the camera due to all of my insecurities, and why I’ve been following you ever since. I have no words of wisdom, other than keep being true to you.
Thanks Tammy.
I’m sorry….they didn’t steal from you, they’ve never seen your blog….or anything you’ve written….you said many had stolen it before….sadly, that’s where they got it….not from you….these are two of the most honest, ethical people anyone could meet….please contact them directly….
I have contacted them directly. I will add for those reading, that their explanation when we spoke was that they saw my blog post somewhere else, asked permission to share it, and were granted permission by that person. If they can provide proof of that conversation or direct me to that person, I will amend my post. I find it highly unlikely that the chain of events went . . . 1. I posted my blog. 2. Someone else took my post. 3. They saw the other person’s post before mine. 4. The requested permission from that someone and it was given. 5. They shared it themselves. I doubt this because, the timeline is too fast (5 days between my post and theirs, when I was getting millions of hits a day), because they say a “photographer friend” gave them the quote which was all of the most personal details of the story and because there were only 3 or 4 people who I found who totally took my post and claimed it as their own even in the height of its virality (and they were promptly stopped). Most people just copied it to their blog but gave me credit and/or a link back. I will also add, though I didn’t include it in this blog post, that I found 2 other instances of plagiarized articles in their newsletter. I am not the author of those other articles (which were written years before their newsletters) and are on major, and easily accessed photography blogs. You might find them to be honest and ethical, but that does not make them flawless and without poor judgement. In my heart of hearts I believe this was a misjudgment in the name of generating content. Just so you know, I am also one of the most honest, ethical people you could ever meet and that is why I have chosen to keep their identity, and the identity of the conference a secret.
Agh, I’m so frustrated for you. How does an established artist (and mentor) make such a rookie move? (I won’t even call it a mistake, because it’s clearly not).
I wish I knew who it was so I would be sure to never, ever invest in them. Hopefully I haven’t, already.
I’ve ‘lived’ your article as well – but your words inspired me to get into the frame last year – and I actually PRINTED some.
You have such a gift with words! Please keep writing :)
Printing them?! Wahoo! That’s the ultimate and could be a whooooooole other post.
Sorry this happened. I remember when you first wrote it and I was so proud of the stand you took. Glad you are taking a stand!
Thanks Barbara!
Teresa, I remember when your original blog post came out, it moved me then and it moves me still. So much so that I shared it then, by way of linking my readers to your post because that’s how it’s supposed to be done. I’m so sorry that people you once respected stole your words but rest assured they did not steal your voice. This incident reminds me of a quote by Anne Lamott that I like very much, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” Tell your story, sister. If what they say happened then they shouldn’t have any trouble providing you the evidence of such.
That’s a great quote. Anne Lamott is my favorite!
Mr. Lawrence – other than Teresa, I don’t know the people involved. I do know that my 9th graders would have recognized this as wrong, however. Taking another’s work and claiming it as your own (especially for commercial purposes) is WRONG. Even if you purportedly have permission to use it. At my school, that gets you a zero and a trip to the judicial board. Your reputation takes a hit in your community. If theirs does in their community, so be it. They will have learned to do things the right way in the future.
I am confused as to why you would protect the plagiarizing photographers rather than their potential victims (people they may plagiarize in the future). You stated, ” Just so you know, I am also one of the most honest, ethical people you could ever meet and that is why I have chosen to keep their identity, and the identity of the conference a secret.” When they plagiarized your work, they actually GAVE You Permission to prosecute them as well as out them to the public. Just as you used the scissors They Handed You to cut them out of your peer circle, use their permission slip likewise. An honest and ethical move would be identifying them to the public so others are not victimized. In closing, I speak from experience having been a victim before. I continued to make excuses for another person’s inappropriate behavior rather than calling the person out and having the behavior addressed and corrected. Sadly, after I used the scissors this person handed me to cut them out of my life, this person went on to victimize others. If I had reported this person, most likely, there would have been no additional victims. Non reporting only fuels their fire. Your decision to not expose them indicates to them their ability to victimize without retribution. Please know I am saying this from my heart as a way to support you in what is a difficult decision and certainly not the path of least resistance!
Best Wishes…….from a fellow photographer :)
P.S. Awesome photography!!
I appreciate your perspective and trust me, it was a well thought out decision to not make their names public. I have consulted with my lawyer behind the scenes so my public actions are different than my private ones. These are two people at the end of their career who have a lifetime legacy to lose. They were wrong and should have used better judgment, and it really hurt me and changed my view of them, but I don’t wish them to have an online witch hunt come after them. People love to attack on the internet and ironically maybe it’s because I’ve met them that I can say I don’t wish that upon them.
Ugh, mentors or not, that is copyright infringement. I hope you sent a DMCA takedown notice to their webhost. If infringement is proved, the webhost has to comply and take it down. I don’t even bother speaking to the infringer anymore. Sorry that happened to you. Hugs
I did. Unfortunately hosts are much quicker to take down visual conten than words. We will wait and see.
I loved your story. I shared it when I first read it with friends and fellow scrapbookers. Know that many women have thanked me for sharing so they could realize they too need to be a subject in their photos and their scrapbooks for their families and loved ones to cherish when they are gone as well as for the memories while they are still here.
No matter who stole your words, know that YOUR words are reaching so many people and having a real affect on them. That is the the most amazing thing!
Thank you for writing that piece.
Dayna
Thank you so much for sharing the blog! The best thing that could ever happen is that the message gets spread far and wide!
I’m sorry that these esteemed photographers took your work as theirs. Let’s be honest, it would have cost them nothing to have your article in their newsletter AS YOUR ARTICLE, and then had their advertising for a photo shoot with them, rather than claiming the entire article as their own :(
Plagiarism isn’t on, regardless of what “permission” they sought. From your comment in the comments section, it sounds like this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. But it should be the last time.
I am so horrified for you Teresa that this happened. If these so called ethical photographers are so ethical and professional you wouldn’t have had this happen. The facts are, this isn’t an isolated case, you have discovered other acts of plagiarism which they have used for financial gain. They have used your pain and your experiences to make money for themselves. If they were ethical they would have contacted you, paid you a writers fee before publishing with due credit. If this is their ethical way of doing business as professionals than it’s not much of an example is it. Look closer and you can guarantee their will be multiple examples of how unethical they are. You give them too much credit. I hope you reach a satisfactory resolution. One that sees them paying you for your wonderfully written words.
Thanks Jodi. Unfortunately so highly doubt I will receive compensation but what is more important to me is taking back control of my message. Be in photographs…anytime, anywhere, any camera. Don’t let a fat roll keep you from being present in your own life.
Stan Lawrence – regardless of where they found the article, an ethical person would have traded it back before publishing it as their own for profit. If you can’t see this than that speaks volumes for your ethics also.
My Niece is a photographer and if someone did that to her or it affected her business I would be all over them in a split second make them apologize publicly and retract their NOT words.I Am Truly sorry for your discomfort,you will encounter many more user and abusers in your lifetime.This is a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt “No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Permission” Don’t let those Mentor wannabes take anything from you.
I’m so sorry that this happened, Teresa. I continue to be so impressed by your bravery, character, and talent.
Teresa, I am sorry this happened to you. Your blog post was a beautiful statement about the importance of pictures and loving memories.
Regarding the “mentors” statement about receiving permission to re-post from another source, according to your post, what they said was “A few years ago we wrote this article about people not wanting to have their photograph taken”. They did not write it. Regardless of whether or not they received any kind of permission, it is plagiarism to claim that it is their writing.
You would think artists would have a good strong moral compass when it comes to stealing, as it happens in the art world often… sadly some do not. I’m sorry this happened! I’d love to share your blogpost on my own photo blog AND credit you if that is ok?
That is absolutely OK. Thanks for asking.
I would hope if they were TRULY apologetic and as honest and ethical as they claim, they should post a public apology for any harm, hurt, or bad judgement on their part. I’m sorry, plagiarism is plagiarism, and I don’t care for their doddering “Oh…this isn’t OUR blog?” attitude towards you. What they did was hurtful, and I’d hope they also see that in this new age of technology, theft is easy to catch, and your professional actions have weight.
Mad props to the grace you handle this with, T. I would have been punching and kicking pretty quick :)
I’m not at all surprised by this. I probably know who you’re referring to. It happens OFTEN, TRUST!
I just so loved your blog Teresa ….you put something in my life that always bothered me so eloquently…thank you sweetie xxxx